I Pay Enough to Go to This School!
(A recent survey was conducted to determine how currently enrolled college students are dealing with the stresses of trying to manage ever-increasing tuition with their academic studies. These results were compiled from a cross-section of students attending Occidental College.)
“I pay enough to go to this school, they should let me keep the mini-fridge in my room even if the RA didn’t approve it.” - Sam G.
“Do you know how much I pay to go to this school? 20 thousand dollars. I pay enough to go to this school - I’m not paying to fix the peep hole in the sorority house.” - Joe M.
“Don’t make me clean up the coffee I spilled in the dining hall - and yes, I did it on purpose!” - Theresa J.
“Hey! I pay enough to go to this school, I think I should be allowed to cheat on tests!” - Mike D.
“The TV in the common room might as well as be mine. And if I can’t have it, then let me watch 3 days of ‘iCarly’ in peace!” - Chris R.
“Hey! I pay enough to go to this school, why can’t I hang out on the roof? And for that matter, why won’t you let me jump off the roof?” - Jeff M.
“I’m going to write my term paper on whatever I want, so it might be about the influence Upton Sinclair has had on contemporary urban writers, or it might be on Skeletor.” - Lauren B.
“Hey! I pay enough to go to this school, if I ask someone out on a date - then they have to go out with me - yeah, I’m talking to you Professor Cross.” - Max J.
“Let me a eat a snake already.” - Adam P.
“Do you know how much I pay to go to this school? 30 thousand dollars. I pay enough to go to this school - I’m not paying to fix the peep hole in Professor Cross’ bathroom.” - Joe M.
“Hey! I pay enough to go to this school, I’m not shaving my beard. I don’t care how shitty it looks.” - Conner O.
“If I break a ‘rule,’ like jumping off the roof, instead of the RA writing me up for a violation, I should be able to punch him in the spine. Sorry Keith, but those are the new rules.” - Megan T.
“Hey! I pay enough to go to this school, I shouldn’t have to put up with roomates. It’s not my fault my mini-fridge fell on Sarah and broke her leg.” - Jessica K.
“Do you know how much I pay to go to this school? 40. Billion. Dollars. I pay enough to go this school. Let me back on campus grounds, or I’m drilling a peep hole in your office, Mr. Dean. If not, I’ll expect a full refund mailed to my parents’ house. I think I’m entitled to something.” - Joe M.
