Happy Spanksgiving
As we all get ready to enjoy a bountiful Thanksgiving meal, there’s one health fact that every man must remember on this holiday: pumpkin pie gets men aroused.
Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation determined that male sexual arousal is positively affected by the smell of pumpkin pie. In a clinical study of 31 subjects, various scents were tested against penile blood flow and the autumn treat had the largest impact. (It also had a beneficial affect in the female case study too.) Oddly enough, one of the healthiest items on the list - cranberry - produced the weakest arousal in men. What can I say, guys like their sweets.There are many explanations for why pumpkin pie has such a hardening effect. Vanilla has been used to fight impotence, and cinnamon has been an aphrodisiac since biblical times (Proverbs 7 yo!). Plus, the smell of pumpkin pie can evoke feelings of nostalgia and comfort, which makes our body more relaxed.
Looks like I have another thing to feel uncomfortable about this year. In addition to dodging questions about my employment status, I’ll also have to keep my legs crossed at all times. If I get busted, I’m just going to blame it on the Rockettes’ performance during the Macy’s Parade (again).
But you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you start to feel all tingly while browsing the dessert selection. This situation is out of our control, like Pavlov’s Dog. It’s a perfectly healthy biological response to a delicious food. There’s nothing wrong with loving the smell of pumpkin pie. Although, its flaky crust is a pain to clean out of bedsheets.
So this Thanksgiving, sit back and savor a nice, big slice of pie. If your mom happened to bake it, just gouge your eyes out before asking for a scoop of ice cream.
(this post guest-written by Dennis Miller)
